Saturday, January 29, 2011

Our journey

This may be a volume 1, 2, 3 and 7! :) Who knows how long it will take for us to make it on our financial journey.

Jere and I combined our lives when we got married. We have my daughter, his 2 sons, his business, my job, his debt, my debt... and ALL of the expenses that come with having children that are 5, 19 and 21. Childcare, college, cars, insurance, toys, clothes(Ava goes through a size a year seems like), Christmases, can only imagine what its like!!!

So when Jere and I got married we decided to keep things separate. I had my job, my child, my debt and he had his. But at some point that didn't work anymore. We are married afterall, and I don't feel the need to "protect" myself from him it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But like everything in life...things change. What worked at one point may not work at the next. So... our journey begins with combining our finances.

If you follow my other blog than you are aware that Jere and I see a marriage counselor. we have seen one since long before we got married. It helps... it helps when we have breakdowns in communications, helps when we have arguments, helps with the adjustments that come with everyday life. But it ALSO has helped us figure out that one of the reasons we have a "wall" between us at times is because we keep our money separate. *SIDE NOTE*... I will ALWAYS have some of my "own" money. If i want those shoes, then I want to buy them and not feel bad. If I want to buy Ava something special its not up to Jere to tell me no. So don't hear me say I am giving up my financial independence.** BUT when it comes to being a married couple there are some things that should be combined and in my opinion finances is one of them.

Our journey starts with a small step. We opened a joint bank account. TADA! I am so proud :) It's a small step for most but a large step for a second marriage. I was left in a huge financial rut when I got divorced so trusting someone again is very hard for me. I want to let him in, but keep myself protected. Can you do both? i'm sure going to try.

First step--combine our finances. Go over our monthly expenses. Figure out how much money we HAVE to have. Decide what percentage of each incomes go into the joint account. Thats where we are now... follow us on the journey of paying off debt, saving money, paying cash for a vacation, and becoming financially FREE and a team ;)

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