Big purchases make me nervous

I'm just not one of those people that makes big purchases very easily. No matter WHAT it is, I just don't do it well... or quick... or without hesitation... or without a stomach ache.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?

Most people would be thrilled to car shop! The idea of picking out a new rig makes most people giddy, but for me, well it provides the need for prilosec in my life.

I'm a hoarder of money. Not that have that much by ANY means, but what I do have... is MINE. And I don't want to owe it to anyone. I don't want to give it away every month for the next 60 months. By the time 48 or 60 months is up... i won't even LIKE the car anymore. And I KNOW this. Everyone gets tired of what they drive. Everyone gets tired of their cell phone. Think about it....

IPhone comes out. 50 million people rush to buy one. Those same 50 million people want the new one a year later. I have plenty of friends that have literally gotten the newest IPHONE everytime it came out. It's a phone? BUT, we get tired of what we have and we want new stuff.

BUT, if we aren't accustomed to getting new stuff, will we be content? CAN we EVER be content with what we have if we keep buying?

I think the answer is...NO. Sorry. That was a total BUSTER to hear I know, but I think it's true. I think until we STOP buying, we will never be content with what we have.

WHOLE DIFFERENT SUBJECT i have begun talking about... sorry.

Back to it... I don't like big purchases. My DREAM car is in my driveway right now for me to drive over night. As if I NEEDED to be with the car more. I already know I want it. i have wanted this car since I was about 22 years old. That's been for a while now. And here I have the chance to buy it. I can afford it. It's stinkin' awesome. And I love love LOVE this car... but I woke up this morning just sick at my stomach and having heartburn. I don't spend money very easily. I do not like debt. I have worked really hard to fix/repair/build my credit and SAVE money in the process. I just don't want to watch all my hard earned money go away.

i work HARD. I put up with LOTS Of crap from my job. so this money is more than just money. It's like a symbol to me that I go to work everyday and ENDURE crap. I don't want to throw it all away.

So, I have my dream car in my driveway and a checkbook that looks sad b/c it's about to be empty, and I have heartburn. Is this car worth it?!?!?!